Jay Kersting's Blog

If you have never done it, selling a house is an absolute nightmare.

Since I do not know otherwise, this being our first sale, I am just guessing that it is worse when you are either surrounded by the mess of it alone and your significant other (by now, probably thinking INsignificant other) is helplessly away from it. 

If you are even slightly aware of the situation that Kathy and I are in right now, you probably know both ends of the story.  But if you don't, let me cut through the clutter for you.

First, on Kathy's side.  Anyone who knows her knows how easy the past four months have beenin her life. She has dealt with my leaving, her mother getting sick, her mother dying, having to get a house ready to put on the market to sell (painting, etc.), scheduling roofers to replace the roof, having surgery, dealing with the issues of what buyers want done to the house, packing a house of stuff up, asking family and begging friends for help moving the stuff from the house, oh and juggle the responsibilities of being a single parent of two boys with not only all of their school work, but also a baseball schedule.

Did I mention that she also has had to deal with a real understanding group of people at her job?  Not just her supervisors, but co-workers and donors. Clearly, nothing TOO major, right?

On my side, still dealing with the new job and getting things more and more set so that I can move from the new job side of things, to the regular everyday job approach.  I am not sure when you move from being the new guy, to being established.  If anyone knows, explain it to me.  But that stuff has been there since I arrived in Jefferson City. 

I have been back in Knoxville a total of three times since leaving in December.  I have done some work on the house each time I have come back.  Mainly things that Kathy didn't know how to do, or felt that would be easier for me to do.  But, I left the last time as the house was being put on the market.  Then when the offer came and the details were worked out, I was told by Kathy and my parents that there was no point in me coming back......and they made a lot of sense, 18 hours of driving for 12-14 hours work did not make sense.  Especially with gas prices pushing $3 a gallon now.  So I feel guilty over not being able to help.  Mainly because I know that Kathy can really only depend on my parents for help.

All of this going on while I am living in a motor home out in a city park.  Yes, it does beat living in a van down by the river.  It is a motor home, down next to the lake.  Not that I am being defensive over my situation.  Actually, it is another point where I owe a LOT to my parents.

Since I do not get to take part in all of the fun that is packing up and moving things out of the house, I get the task of working on getting a mortgage lined up.  Kathy handled our first one.  And she took the lead on the refinance.  So, I am simply here working my way down new ground. 

Currently, my weeks of work have gotten us two Pre-Approvals.  Which, from what I can tell, mean pretty much nothing.  If you have never gotten a pre-approval let me explain what they really say.  Pre-approvals from what I can tell are worded in a way that sort of sounds like this when you cut through the lingo.....

"We have pre-approved these folks based on the very basic information they have provided us so far. Our company pretty much thinks its all bullshit, so we do not want to commit too much to them.  We'll figure out what rate to gouge them with later on, as soon as we can determine from more information that we will require, how much bullshit they have been shovelling on us up to this point.  So, for us to be fair, since we think they are bullshitting us, we present you this pre-approval letter.  It is our way of bullshitting you too."

I don't know about you, but that gives me confidence to go in and make an offer on a house.

So, I am dealing with the stress of this crap.

Kathy only has to deal with the physical stress of moving, the emotional stress of leaving her home for the last four years, the stress of juggling the lives of two boys who are leaving the one home that they will remember from our time in Knoxville, the always understanding folks at her office, and leaving friends behind, most of whom she hasn't had the time to see, or they haven't had the time to see her, since I left in December.

Who has it easier?  Clearly Kathy does by now, right.  Ha ha ha....  It ain't easy on me, but I know that I am only dealing with the mental stress of it.  She has to deal with the physical, mental, emotional, financial and all of the other stresses. 

You must remember, at least she has not had to deal with living with me for the past four months. 

All of that said, assuming we find a house soon, make an offer, get the offer accepted, close on the house and move in.  I figure we will be calmed down and refreshed rather quickly.  I am sure that Kathy will want to entertain folks real soon.  In fact, she mention to me that I need to see what the entertaining possibilities are in any houses I look at.  We hope to have everyone over soon.

And by soon, I am guessing 2012.